


Sentimental Journey

by Bizarra



Series: The Playlist Series [1]
Category: Star Trek: Voyager
Genre: F/M, Post-Endgame
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-23
Updated: 2018-05-23
Packaged: 2019-05-13 03:01:29
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,986
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14740796
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Bizarra/pseuds/Bizarra
Summary: Kathryn has a sentimental journey from Indiana to San Francisco





	Sentimental Journey

**Author's Note:**

> Star Trek Voyager and it’s characters are owned by CBS/Paramount. I’m just playing.  
> Sentimental Journey Songwriters: Benjamin Homer, Bud Green, Les Brown Sentimental Journey lyrics © Warner/Chappell Music, Inc., Kobalt Music Publishing Ltd.
> 
> This is clearly story one. There will be a second story to this, at some point. Bear with me as my writing is a bit rusty. Thanks to Erin for the editing.

_ Gonna take a sentimental journey _

_ Gonna set my heart at ease _

_ Gonna make a sentimental journey _

_ To renew old memories _

  
  


May 18, 2380

 

_ Got my bag, Got my reservation _

_ Spent each dime I could afford _

_ Like a child In wild anticipation _

_ Long to hear that A-all aboard _

 

It was a bright and sunny mid-May day in Bloomington, Indiana, but that didn’t stop the melancholy mood that had overtaken Admiral Kathryn Janeway as she walked through the train terminal. She readjusted the strap of her traveling bag as it threatened to slip off her shoulder and glanced at the ticket in her hand, to double-check the terminal number her train was leaving from. She could have easily taken a transporter to San Francisco, but, for this occasion, Kathryn felt taking the long way was entirely appropriate.

She finally arrived at the waiting area for her terminal and found an empty seat along one of the walls. As she was a half-hour early, Kathryn sighed and leaned back against the wall. That damned Starfleet training. She looked around at the small crowd milling about the area, likely waiting for the same train she was. At least none of these people seemed to care that they had a famous Starfleet Officer in their midst. For that, she was thankful; the last thing she wanted, right now, was attention.

Kathryn leaned over and slid her hand into a side pocket on the outside of her bag and pulled out her personal PADD. She tapped it on and quickly navigated to her messages. Once the announcement of Voyager’s decommissioning was released, Kathryn got messages from everyone. Well, all but one. She sighed and thumbed through the unread messages for any new ones she cared to read. There were none.

She went back to the personal notification she’d received, two months ago, from Admiral Paris.   _ Kathryn.  _  He’d started it with her first name, rather than her rank. She knew then it was personal news that she wouldn’t likely enjoy.

_ Kathryn, _

_ I apologize for bothering you during your leave of absence, but, I’ve received news that Voyager will be decommissioned on May 25th of this year, at the Utopia Planitia Shipyards. This was not the news I had been expecting, nor was fighting for. But, the Council feels that she’s too outdated for a refit and they’d rather use the technology that was added while you were in the Delta Quadrant on a more advanced ship. I’m so sorry, Kathryn. We fought hard for her, but we were out-voted and I can’t see any other options for us.  _

Her heart always lurched at that sentence. They were going to scrap Voyager and use her for parts. The first time she read that, a pain - not unlike being shot with a phaser set to kill - lanced through her stomach. Kathryn closed her eyes to thwart the threatening tears.

_ If you would like to notify your crew and have them present for the ceremony.. _

Kathryn laughed coldly. “Ceremony.” More like, ‘Congratulations for everything that you’ve done in protecting your crew, you get to go to the scrap heap.’

She took a deep breath and closed the message. She’d contacted everyone she could - Tom, B’Elanna, Harry, Seven, Ayala, the Delaney sisters; all of them, personally. Except one. She hadn’t seen or heard from Chakotay in nearly a year and a half. Kathryn had no idea where he was. His last contact with her had been that he was going off-world for an archaeology job. Not for the first time, she worried about him. B’Elanna just assured her, emptily, that he was fine; that it was a long dig. Kathryn had jested once, wondering if he’d gone back to the Delta Quadrant. They’d laughed; but space travel was dangerous. The longer he was gone, the more she worried. After everything they’d gone through, she didn’t want to lose him now. Not without knowing how she really felt.

Kathryn jumped up and took a breath.  That line of thinking had to stop. This trip was hard enough without that on her mind. She looked up as her train number was announced to start boarding. Kathryn stood, gathered her belongings, and moved into the line with the other passengers to board. 

She pulled her ticket from the outer pocket of her bag and handed it to the conductor as she stepped onto the train. She moved through the cars, found her compartment, opened the door, and slid inside. Kathryn set her bag and coat down on the small sleeping cot and took the seat next to the window. As the train started moving, the landscape outside her window slowly became stars and she lost herself in old memories.

Four hours later, the train crossed the Mississippi River, en route to Saint Louis for an hour’s layover. She caught sight of the Gateway Arch Monument. It still gleamed, silvery in the sunlight, honoring the Westward Expansion that happened so long ago. It was built in the mid-Nineteenth Century and, five centuries later, it still stood a testimony to time and good architecture. A streak of anger suddenly moved through her body. There was no reason to scrap Voyager after only nine years. The only reason was purely political.

The train pulled into Union Station and stopped. Kathryn knew the dinner car would likely be closed during the layover, but she hoped she could at least get some coffee. No, this time of day, tea. She could use a soothing, hot tea. Kathryn made a quick trip of getting her tea and, to her surprise, some dinner, which she took back to her compartment. She didn’t at all feel like being social.

Kathryn ate in silence, reading more of her messages. Tom, B’Elanna, and two-year-old Miral, were looking forward to seeing her. She smiled at the thought. She’d missed seeing her Voyager family over the last few months. It weighed on her that it took an occasion like this to bring them back together. Kathryn sat back and plunked the PADD on the small table. God, why did she feel like she was going to a funeral?  _ Because you are,  _ her mind supplied, not adding anything to her mood.

Damnit. Now she’d lost her appetite. Somewhere in the back of her mind, Kathryn could hear Chakotay chiding her about not eating. She smiled softly at the fleeting memory and, for him, finished her meal. Kathryn set her now-used dishes just outside the door, for the conductor to take back, and decided she’d try to get some sleep now that the train was on its way, again.

She slept fitfully; the clacking of the tracks and the intermittent train whistle were not conducive to sleep. Kathryn often missed the quiet hum of a starship engine. Despite their situation, some nights on Voyager, she slept deeply. 

Kathryn finally turned over and lay on her back, having given up on a restful sleep. She watched the dark sky outside the window, from her cot, and thought back to other sleepless nights. That night on New Earth, when Chakotay had told her, via his story of the Angry Warrior, that he loved her. She hadn’t been ready to verbalize it, but, she’d let her body say it. That night had changed their relationship from ‘professional best friends’ to ‘she was terrified to let him know how she really felt, because she’d never let him go’. But, she had let him go. Because her stupid need to stick to protocol had pushed the one person she’d truly die for away from her. Kathryn rolled over to face the wall and closed her eyes as silent tears rolled down her cheeks, and cried herself to sleep.

The next morning, Kathryn awoke with a raging headache. The first thing she needed to do was get coffee, then take an aspirin. The closer she got to San Francisco, the more emotional her memories were getting. Clearly a six-month leave of absence from Starfleet wasn’t nearly enough. Maybe she needed to just move back to Indiana and forget Captain Janeway had ever existed.

Kathryn retrieved coffee and a croissant for breakfast. Again, her ‘inner Chakotay’ chided her for the meager meal, but she waved the thought away with a hand as she closed herself back into her compartment. With a sigh, she again checked her messages. She still hoped, but refused to get her hopes up. B’Elanna said she’d try her best to contact him and let him know their Captain needed to hear from him.

The PADD on the table buzzed as a new message came in. Kathryn sat her coffee down, picked the PADD up, and navigated to the message screen. Her heart skipped a beat when she saw the message was from Chakotay. With a slight hesitation, she opened it. 

_ Kathryn, _

_ I’m sorry, I haven’t been in touch for so long. My job took me out of communications range, and we’ve only just regained it. I just got the notice about Voyager and intend to be on the first ship to Utopia Planitia. I know you will be there and I won’t let you go through that alone. I hope you’ve gotten in touch with the rest of the crew and that they’ll be there, too. We’ll see Voyager off properly.  _

_ I love you, Kathryn. I should have said it before I left. But, I do. I have for a very long time. I’ll see you in a couple of days. Then I can tell you properly. _

_ With love _

_ Your Angry Warrior. _

Kathryn hugged the PADD to her. The fact that she hadn’t done irreparable damage to their relationship was the thing she needed to hear. She typed out a reply to his message, the best she could on the PADD’s small keyboard.

_ Chakotay, _

_ I’ve been so worried about you. I’m so glad to know you are okay. It sets my mind at ease. I’m currently on a train, heading to San Francisco. I should be at the shipyards in two or three days. I know it’s silly, but I felt the need to take the long way, in Voyager’s honor. I wish I could say I’m enjoying the trip, but, it’s been nothing but myself and a lot of old memories. Some pleasant, some not so much. In the long run, though, I think I needed this. I’m sure my Counselor would approve. _

She stopped, her thumb over the letter key. Should she or shouldn’t she? What, truly, was holding her back now? Nothing. There was nothing holding her back. With one last hesitation, Kathryn started typing. Once she started, she found herself saying everything.

_ I love you, too. And I’ve loved you for a long time. I was just too caught up in policy, procedure, and protocol, and thought it best to stay detached in my singular mission to get us home. Looking back, I regret that. The crew was forming a family and I was just off to the left, looking in. I should have let myself feel … something. Anything that wasn’t guilt. I’m so sorry for everything. Hopefully, I can make that up to you, and to the crew. It just hurts deeply that this is what is bringing us together. I’ll see you soon. _

_ I’ve always been yours, _

_ Kathryn _

She pressed ‘send’ and felt her heart, and her mood, lighten tremendously. Leave it to Chakotay to always know exactly when she needed him the most. She stood up and walked to the window. The dry, red soil meant they were somewhere near - she laughed aloud for the first time in a long time - the Badlands. Of course. It was where Voyager’s journey truly began, and she had a feeling this was going to be where her life began again.

_ Never thought my heart could be so yearny _

_ Why did I decide to roam _

_ Gotta take that sentimental journey _

_ Sentimental journey home _

 

_ Fin _


End file.
